No matter how well-behaved your children are, they are always going to make a certain amount of fuss when something is not how they want it to be or when they are uncomfortable with the situation. But in most cases, you will have children who are very compliant and make a minimal fuss and there are ones that are difficult to work with. A lot of parents who are dealing with problematic children tiptoe around them doing everything in their power not to set off another temper tantrum. Even though that might seem like the best option, that is the worst approach you can take to these situations. Having a problem child can mean that you have a child who is fighting you for minor things but it can also mean that you have a child that is getting into fights or doing illegal things.
But you simply can’t spend your life constantly being on edge and tiptoeing just waiting for something bad to happen and figuring out how to deal with it. There are also parents who will completely deny that they have a problem child and ignore all the red flags. If you are struggling with your child and you are not sure how to handle those tricky situations, here are five ways you can deal with a problem child.
Understand The Root Cause Of The Behaviour
The first and most important thing that you as a parent need to do is stop being in denial. When you are dealing with a child that is misbehaving means that there is a problem and they are doing it for a reason. Even though it is a hard pill to swallow, in most cases your child is acting out because of something that is happening in the family. When you are dealing with younger children they might be acting out because they are hungry, overwhelmed or frustrated.
They don’t know how to express it. Some kids will act out because they want your attention and others will act out because they are struggling with something and they are dealing with it in a bad way. Your part of this needs to be figuring out if their needs are met and getting down to the root of the problem.
Establish Boundaries While Staying Calm
No matter how hard it can be at times, especially when it’s a sticky situation, you have to set boundaries. Your child needs to understand how they need to behave in certain situations, especially in public. Always make sure that your child understands their boundaries and that there will be consequences if rules are broken. But also make sure that you are creating rules that are manageable and realistic. Communication is the key, no matter how young your child is, they will understand you.
Even though it is very hard to stay calm and collected when your child is misbehaving, you need to hold your ground and not have an angry outburst. Remaining calm and collected is the key to handling these situations. The worst thing that you can do is yell at them as they are having an episode as it will only fuel the fire. Take a step back and collect yourself before racing. Focus on your response to the situation and try to understand why they are acting this way. Another important thing, especially if you are dealing with an older problem child, is having a good connection with criminal lawyers in Sydney or close to where you live in case situations escalate.
Make Sure Your Child Feels Heard and Safe
The best thing that you can do for your child is ensure that they are being heard. Show them that you understand their situation or concern. If you have a younger child that is being problematic make sure that you show them that you understand why they had a tantrum and they need your help and attention. Instead of blaming them and shaming them, make sure that you are showing them that you understand why they are expressing sadness, anger or frustration, but explaining to them that this is not the way to behave.
Communication is the key no matter how young they are. On top of that, there is nothing more important than ensuring that your child is feeling safe. When they are feeling safe it is less likely that they will throw temper tantrums. Start by working on home security as well as building a safe and healthy relationship with all the family members.
Reward Good Behaviour When Possible
Even though you shouldn’t base your parenting on punishments and rewards, showing them that they are doing a good job is very important. When you are encouraging positive behaviour and not just ignoring it or making them feel like they are never doing anything good, little positive definitions of physical rewards are important.
Take Time To Explain
It is very important that you have your child understand that bad behaviour will not be tolerated. The best way to help your child stop causing problems is by explaining all the possible bad outcomes. The more time that you take out to explain to them why doing something is not acceptable you will be able to help them develop empathy and understand why their actions are unacceptable.
Dealing with a child that is having issues with their behaviour is not a fun thing, but you as a parent need to ensure that they are learning how to behave better. No matter what thy do, violence is never the answer to their problem.