Before You Break Up, Try These 6 Tips

break up

All relationships go through ups and downs. It’s natural to encounter some rough patches. Sometimes things may feel off. Perhaps you encounter miscommunications or a lack of connection. These things don’t always mean the end of a relationship. There are some things you can do to get your love life back on track and to feel good about your relationship again. Before you break up, try these six tips.

1. Communicate Openly and Honestly

One of the most important things you can to prevent a breakup is to be sure to communicate as openly and honestly as possible about the issues you’re currently experiencing in your relationship. Sure, it can feel awkward to be so upfront about your emotions. Perhaps confrontation is difficult for you. However, at this point, what do you have to lose by putting it all out on the table?

Telling your partner what you think the problems in your relationship are and how they make you feel can go far toward resolving the issues. Try not to place blame. Instead, use “I statements” which focus on you and your feelings rather than on what your significant other is or is not doing correctly. Seeking professional help such as EMDR couples therapy in the Bay Area or wherever you may live can make this process much easier and more effective.

2. Let Go of Negativity

One reason many couples struggle is because they hold onto negative issues from the past. Your therapist can help guide you toward overcoming these memories that are affecting your current relationship so that you can move forward in a healthier way. Addressing past experiences can help you both to forgive and to heal from them. You’ll feel much better when you rid yourself of long-held resentment and animosity.

3. Set Specific Goals

After talking about the issues that are facing you and dealing with past problems, you want to take time to set specific goals to help you move forward. Make sure these goals are manageable and measurable so that you can stay on track and know if you’re making progress. This can also help to keep you accountable and to avoid sliding into old behavioral patterns.

4. Be Spontaneous

One way to bring new life to your relationship is to find ways to shake things up. Try being spontaneous and trying new things. Taking intentional steps to break out of your routine can add fun to your lives together and remind you what it is you really love about one another. Go on an impromptu date night. Sign up for a class together. Schedule a weekend away. Anything will do as long as it allows you to step out of the norm and spend time together.

5. Learn Each Other’s Love Language

Everyone has a preferred way of expressing and receiving love. It can truly improve your relationship to learn what your partner’s love language is. The five love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, and receiving gifts. There are tests you can take online to discover your preference along with ideas for showing love in ways your partner will most appreciate. Taking the time and effort to learn about these preferences and respond to them will improve your overall communication and show how much you care.

6. Focus on the Positives

Finally, try to remember what attracted you to your partner in the first place. Focus on their positive attributes and on what you really love about them instead of spending so much time being irritated by their flaws. This simple change in mindset can really help you to feel more loving toward your partner. It can give you a new perspective, and you might even discover that you don’t really want to break up with them after all. Sometimes you simply have to shift your view and focus on what matters most to gain new insight.

Hopefully, these six tips will help you to understand whether your relationship is worth investing in or if it truly is time to consider break up. Sometimes it simply is time for a relationship to come to an end, but you’ll feel better when you’ve taken steps toward working on things and evaluating where you stand. You can then move forward with a more informed mindset.

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